you're a mystery yourself

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

8:16 PM

Facebook is really, really amusing. I'm gna figure out how to use it properly and reply all the msgs of people, cos now I don't have the time. Its okay though, ONE MORE WEEK!

7 days. You know what are the 7 things I hate baout you, 7 days?

Everything!

Heheeee, that could be the start of a chart topping song.

:P

love,e

&the beauty.

10:51 PM

I think exams are boring. All they get you is a hand cramp and a warm chair at the end of the day. Eng2 was (dare i say) easy, science was. Ah yar science lah. So super scientific. LOL. Anyway, i got really pissed off with people in my class today who kept whining-shouting-screaming-screeching I GOT STUDY OKAY! I SLEEP AT 1AM! (uh, news flash? we don't care.)yup and after that she goes I'M GOING TO FLUNK SCIENCE! and of course her cornies go woohoo, lets all flunk science together. see, now thats what i'm trying to get away from.

attitude & perspective is very important. attitude & perspective is very important.

and i was supposed to start studying 25 minutes ago.

&the beauty.

2:58 AM

I had a great day today ya know. Playing with the children's ministry was fabulous. Then went for lunch with mummy and daddy and hannah for some seriously yummy food. Came home, I watched zoey 101 then fell asleep. till about half an hour ago? and i. need. to. mug. for. science. need to keep up that seriously LAUSIE B4 of mine.

eee-er, i'm getting super pissed off cos of the school system. its almost as if they waste us at our prime. and by that, i mean the first 2 semesters. when we're all weary and sick of the whole schooling concept, they pull a fast one on us which is an exam known ads EOYs which count for 45% of our year's grades. and like, i don't have the heart to study, but you know, this is my time. and when its gone, and i don't make it, there goes everything. i'll be stuck. and i do not want to be stuck. stupid people can be made smart by hard work.

you know, i suddenly remembered a phrase i always used in term 1 to spur me on.

impossible is nothing.

with that, i had 6 A1s and high scores in 3 subjects.

so now, i hope it'll work its magic.

impossible

is

nothing.

love,e

&the beauty.

4:18 AM

You know, my world is falling apart.

Where is my perfect or near perfect porcelain skin? LOL, my face looks like a frickin compass. Its so ridiculous.

And grades. 75% for Lit? YOU WANNA DIE IS IT.

And DJ? What about that?

And piano?

And drama?

And personal responsibilities?

I don't know what I'm doing. But you know, sometimes, it feels so good.

But I can't just give up now. Wait for next year, I think.

(edit)

this just cheered me up

PHWOAR!!!

&the beauty.

3:47 AM

Today in school, I felt like sleeping. After school, I went to the library, and then to Vivo, and then home. And at Vivo, there was this guy in a suit wearing a wig with a gray stocking over his face. Or maybe its gray tights? Or smth like that, he looked like a mannequin, it was freakishly scary.

Anyhow. I am now on facebook. And it is very, very, very slow.

BB

&the beauty.

6:36 AM

Today, today, today. Today, chemistry was so devastating. I can't believe I got a just pass for like, and all night's plus all recess' work. Then, I ate in class. Then we had chinese, which was a snooze fest, and math, which was a snooze fest, and art, which was a snooze fest. Then I had lunch. Then, I had my english oral. Then, I went home, only to be locked out for the second time this fortnight. Then, I dumped my stuff and took off for the hospital. Lovely time. Then, at around 8, I left. I watched the 2 chinese shows! 5.30 & 7 pm.

Both have the same HAWT guyyyy! And, speaking of hawt guys, I've been seeing lots of them recently at the most bizzare places. On the escalator, when I'm on the bus staring out randomly, corridors. Phwoar! :P

For dinner, I had 1 and a half cups of coffee, and I'm still sleepy. I'm helpless, seriously. First, I have no idea how to work my alarm clock. And then even after coffee, and all the puke-ishness, I-AM-SLEEPY!

I think I'm screwing up big time. I think my nametag should now read "Bloody Screwup An Zang" instead of "Eunice Lim Qin Jie", which by the way, means victorious celebration. I was thinkning about that in the cab home.

How to get A1 tell me? I'm seriously going to buy more coffee.

Whatever it is, I am not sleeping tonight.

My love, its you, only you.

&the beauty.

3:27 AM

S/S, by the way, stands for S****/S***. I refuse to succumb to the use of singlish, especially at this hour, when my english oral is about 20 hours away.

T'day my side hurt lots and lots.

Stupid bag, stupid files, stupid steps, stupid slope, stupid fork. Even the gel thingum didn't stop the pain. I think I'm gna start taking the pain-killers.

I had chinese oral today. It was boring. Mrs Yap didn't seem to be too pleased with me, especially during the conversation. My "accent" snuck its way into my speech, which irritated me alot. Which made me S.M.I.L.E(at the thought of Charlie Lou and Jamie Ann ROFLing), cos I believe in grace under pressure.

*HUGE SMILE*

Mummy and Daddy came to fecth me, went to redhill market to eat. The fried kway teow is so OILY and SMOOTH. Eeee, and I keep getting chin outbreaks. Tut, tut, must be all those chin fights on Saturday. Went to visit Seth, walked up and down the wretched slope THRICE, damn, no wonder my side hurts.

Oh, and did I mention, there's a "very simple" history test on Contact & Interaction this thursday, and I'm very behind my study schedule, and I won't get to meet m'maties this Saturday for S.G, cos there'll be a 3 hour rehearsal in BPJ for Children's Day worship. Which means, a really unhappy Tinky-inky-winky-binky Strawberry.

):

And have I mentioned, I'm really behind my study schedule.

*HUGE SMILE* *HUGE SMILE* *HUGE SMILE*

LOL, i just dropped my sister's $60 volcom backpack, the look on her face was priceless.

love,e

&the beauty.

7:22 AM

the flying fork = 2 minutes of pain, 3 and a half hours of my parent's sleep, $91.80 bucks, seth to be all alone in the ward for like 30mins, disrupted muscle, damaged tissue, rib ache, dirtied uniform, 10 minutes of mr wan's time, and above all else, possibly your future.

today was so complicated. like, so many things can change in a day. i never knew on the first of january that i would be shaking the hand of a 2g student, saying "you are forgiven." i never knew on the first of january that seth would be in the icu. i never knew on the first of january that God would be so real. y'know, i thank God for these kind of situations, cos then, i can see and know that God is truly truly truly everything.

psalms 139:9-10

if i rise on the wings of the dawn, if i settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

really, how can you not stand to praise and worship such a God?

in moments like these
i sing a out a song
i sing a love song to Jesus
in moments like these
i lift up my hands
i lift up my hands to the Lord

singing i love you Lord
singing i love you Lord
singing i love you Lord
i love you

(now n forever)

love,e

&the beauty.

4:13 AM

study group was so frickin AWESOME! love the whole jing gang. pardon the spelling error, if there is.

spoke in chinese, ROFL-ed(literally), vanadlized charlie's leg, had my own vanalized, had my own hand smashed into my face, realized that the term GMTA is not a cliche, and that it is not fake, had a whole lotta chin fights and ah ya, its just toooo much to say.

WEB was quite... exaggarated. like, esp the kim possible one. but i guess lots of stuff which was said applies. dump and devote. stop bitching. love your brothers and sisters in Christ and honor them. have i mentioned stop bitching? which is why, whenever i bitch or whatever, charlie lou and jamie ann will like slap my face/hit my chin.

my goodness, slipknot is scary. i think they're cowards.

anyways, better get to sleep and stuff when daddy come home with my bag i'm gna start mugging through the night. strangely enough mummy n daddy don't have any problems with me doing that now. heyho, thats coolio.

love,e

&the beauty.

3:24 AM

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise!

Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro.

If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you.

You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

wow

Your Friend is Definitely Fake

Your friend is not true to you - and your friendship is definitely faux.

It's probably time to demote her to acquaintance, unless you don't mind being fake back.

Is Your Best Girl Friend Fake?

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Accepting

No matter what a friend says or does, you try your best to understand it.

And your friends feel like they can tell you anything. You don't judge.

You know that friendship is a journey - with a lot of ups and downs.

If you and a friend grow apart, you get over it quickly... and leave the potential for future friendship open.

You tend to have many friends from many walks of life. Anyone you meet is could become a friend.

In fact, you are especially interested in people who are a little different than you. Seeing life from another perspective is something you cherish.

Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else with their secrets

You really can't be friends with: Dogmatic, stubborn people

Your friendship quote: "Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes."

What Makes You a Good Friend?

You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

You are kind, popular, and generous.

You tend to be successful at anything you try.

A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd.

You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

strawberry ice cream, anyone?

You Are Strawberry Cake

Fresh, sassy, and romantic.

You're a total flirt, who never would turn down a sugary treat.

Occasionally you're a bit moody - but you usually stay sweet!

What Kind of Cake Are You?

oh goodness, this is too funny

You Are Fruit Loops

You're very fun loving and easily bored.

You need everything in your life to be over the top.

You are definitely attracted to shiny and colorful objects.

If kids love something, you tend to love it as well.

You a very short attention span and are easily distracted.

You are likely to eat something very random for breakfast... or forget to eat it at all.

What Kind of Cereal Are You?

Your Expression Number is 1

You have the skills to be a top executive or businessperson.

But first you must develop your natural capacity to be a good leader.

You are truly original - with a creative approach to life and a very sharp mind.

You reach for the sky, and you have the potential to reach it.

Assertive and straight forward, you have little need for supervision.

You are self-confident, self-reliant, and courageous in your convictions.

While you sometimes fear loneliness, you prefer to be left alone.

A bit self centered, you may be hard to life with at times.

You also have a strong dominant streak - which can push others away at times.

What's Your Expression Number?

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills.

Bold and daring, you're not afraid to change your life if you think it needs an overhaul.

Brainy and intelligent, you are intellectual to the point of being incomprehensible.

Your emotions tend to be nervous and potent. Your energy - both positive and negative - deeply impacts your life.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

What Your Pizza Reveals

You have a hearty appetite. You are likely to complain if a restaurant has small portions.

You consider pizza to be bread... very good bread. You fit in best in the Midwest part of the US.

Your taste in food tends to favor what's rich and comforting. You prefer food that will definitely satisfy you.

You are dependable, loyal, and conservative with your choices.

You have many conflicting and complementary layers to your personality. You should consider traveling to Australia.

The stereotype that best fits you is geek. You're the type most likely to order pizza to avoid leaving your computer.

What Does Your Pizza Say About You?

geek indeed

You Are Spaghetti Marinara

Compared to most people, you are sophisticated, subtle, and classy.

You are concerned with quality in all aspects of your life.

You rather have a few high quality friends than many acquaintances.

And you always prefer to have a meal with simple, high quality ingredients.

What Pasta Dish Are You?

You Are 76% Interesting

Believe it or not, you are a very fascinating person.

You're probably too busy being interesting to realize exactly how interesting you are.

You have a rich, full life. You are curious about the world, and you are very open to new experiences.

You have a lot to talk about, and people find you to be an amazing conversationalist.

And most importantly, you are truly interested in other people. How could anyone find that boring?

You truly listen and learn from others. You're not self absorbed or shallow.

Are You Boring or Interesting?

A1! LOL

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive.

You understand people better than they would like to be understood.

Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details.

You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on!

Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done

Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

What Should Your Superpower Be?

You Are Mostly Secure

In general, you feel confident and together.

But the wrong thing can happen, and all of a sudden, you're not feeling so secure.

Luckily, your insecurities don't last long... at least, not usually.

So the next time you're feeling insecure, try to snap out of it - and remember the confident woman you are!

Are You An Insecure Girl?

okie dokie, i'm sleepy now.

g'night

&the beauty.

3:24 AM

today was hectic. el and cl paper 1s. el was hard. my essay only came together like, during the last 25 minutes of the exam, seriously nerve wrecking. cl was easy. but for letter writing i wasnt sure if i did the format correctly. oh well, if its over let it go, i guess. went to nuh right after exam, cos seth was going to have another op and daddy wanted me there. poor sethseth, i love you baby.

i'm now watching ms congeniality 1 on youtube! (:

oh happy day...

HEEEEHEEEE!

love,e

(i'm over it.)

&the beauty.

3:26 AM

I was super zonked today. Seriously sleep deprived right now. I slept from 10pm-2.30am, and then 4.30am-6am. Clever tricks eh, I bet mummy and daddy didn't even find out. Only aunty mary knew hehhhh! But then again, the mess of algrbra stuff and my stationery all strewn around should've been a dead give-away... Ah well, at least mummy didn't find out.

Today during chemistry I swear, gibberish was pouring out of Ms Lim. And tmr, we have a test on acids, alkalis and indicators. Then we had English, I think which was a test on editing. The instructions weren't clear. So pissing. Then recess, I went to the lib to study zao ju for all 3 chapters of chinese, to make sure I didn't forget in the test. But guess what. I studied for the whole frickin period, with my tummy rumbling away, and.

THERE WASN'T ANY ZAO JU SECTION!

Then math, which was noisy and hot and stuffy, then art, which was painful. My hand still hurts from coloring and drawing. And there's D&T bright and early in the morn tmr. Snooze fest please. I think that time can be better utilized for STUDYING or REVISING or CLARIFYING, don't you think? Anyway, after school, had to do the essay writing test, which was pretty fun. For once in my life, I think I wrote within the word limit. Within the time. And on the spot.

Ah, screw the headaches, they're coming backkkk! I think I'm gna go to kao & tan to get the medicine again.

&the beauty.

2:11 AM

today was quite a happy day, y'know. my group's history project looks awesome! lennard's brother gave him some suggestions to improve the board, and it looked so professional! the trick is to cover everything with a layer of plastic, that way everything GLEAMS!

(:

i'm in serious need of studying(2pid/emo/lausie!).

my sister is asking me a bunch of crazy questions now.

byebyebye.

&the beauty.

8:42 AM

you know, at frist, i thought this week would engulf me. getting sick, saturday's breakdown, but you know what? i've been thinking. and you know, i didn't even have to pray, cos God knows what i wanna say before its on my tongue and every thought that runs through my mind, He knows too. reading psalms at mount alvernia didn't go to waste after all yeah.

Psalms 138:3
On the day I called; You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul.

just now as i was doing my work and all that stuff, yeah, i felt irritated, stupid(or 2pid, ha ha ha) and ahya everything lah, when you're sliiiiightly sleep deprived and on many many drugs n acids/alkalis, BUT. its like. a sense of kind of. assurance, peace. planning my timetable too. its almost like the. fan in the silence is telling me "its okay, its alright, you'll get through this". but i think its got to do with everyone praying too. i know its got to do with God.

Psalms 138:7
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will strech forth Your right hand and save me.

isn't that just amazing? i think its amazing-er than any asian artefact(don't ask), amazing-er than any gleaming report card, amazing-er than badger balm, and even though God's single-handedly shaken my foundation, i think i know God's got a great purpose for it, you know? i mean, now i may not be able to trust God completely with everything, but. i hope i'm well on my way to doing so.

a big thankyou and huge bear hug to everyone who's been so concerned and praying for me, my family and seth. bless your kind souls.

Psalms 138:5
And they will sing of the ways of the Lord, for great is the glory of the Lord.

thankyou God

(hallelujah)

love,e

&the beauty.

5:52 PM

I love study group maties and WEB with the bottom of my heart. During study group I kept like, spacing out and stuff. I think Jerome must have asked "You okay or not?" about. 7 times? I wasn't all that productive, you know. I only managed to do revision ex 15 on simple inequalities. And graphs still remains a mystery to me. Dang I should've bugged Jerome/Giff/Ezra more ya. I'll try my best to get it sorted this weekend. Which only consists of today, BTW. :\ Next week, I have a history project due, and my group mates are getting on my last nerve, a composition test, a chinese test, but on which chapters I still do not know, a science test on chapter 8, a math test on graphs and simple inequalities, and EOY CL/EL paper 1.

But on the brighter side of life, study group ytd was hilarious. Thank you FRIENDS!(LOL, inside joke, you don't want to know ;D) I went so so red, and even my ears turned pinkish. Had dinner at Food Mall, fried rice sucked. HONEYDEWSAGO was DELICIOUS! Shared with maties.

WEB was a bit too rushed for me. My mind was taking a long time to remember what it felt like to be in a normal situation. And I kept getting slightly pissed off whenever Matt said sharing time before I finished writing down my answer. I feel really bad now.

Anyhow, I better go shower now, and off to church I'll trot. (I won't really trot, BTW)

(a baby named seth)

love,e

&the beauty.

7:25 PM

Seth is going to get baptized this morning. Seth's going to be transferred to NUH this afternoon, the evacuation team is coming soon. Seth opened his eyes this morning, when I was singing and talking to him. Mummy's been by his bedside, crying and talking to him. When Seth looked at me, I felt. Numb. Happy. Sad. Desperate.

Things that are going down the toilet.

-Chinese grades. 7.5%'s just going to have to cut it I guess. Chinese e-learning, cos I was supposed to stay in school yesterday to complete it on the school computer, so I can type in the chinese words. But guess what. I wasn't in school yesterday. And I'm not in school today.

-History project. Left Calandra in charge, she wants to do the whole thing, so actually, I didn't contribute anything, besides well, choosing the artefact for emmeline to find pictures and do the storyboard. Cos, when I was the leader, I meant for the board to be done together, so we all had equal contributions.

-Oral. Oral exam is next friday. 8 days from now and I still do not know what's expected.

-SYF, English week, and Chinese drama play. I didn't go for SYF on Tuesday, and I'm not going for the english week/chinese drama rehearsals today too.

God, tell me how'm I supposed to transfer out. Do you seriously want be to be a loser in Qtown for 4 years? Think about it. You know, things were bad enough. But oh no. You just have to go make everything worse, don't you.

God how could you.

-

love,e

&the beauty.

7:18 PM

this is for you(sorry dear, character map isn't on this computer)
-

gave school a miss today, at mummy and daddy's orders. tmr too, most likely. you know what i don't really mind. exams are just around the corner, at the expense of my lovely gleaming, shining, straight A1 grades, i'm at the hospital, with my family. not that i don't want to be here. i do, really. lets just hope i'll be able to cope when i return to school on friday/nxt monday.

you know, yesterday when everyone was praying in the waiting room, with tears streaming down our faces, someone prayed for us to be accept the fact that seth might not make it. after going to dinner, after trying so hard not to drench my meal, i went up to the waiting room lounge place. the first thing when i got off the elevator and walked round the corner was my dad. bloodshot eyes, mask around his face, consulting his handphone. he looked so sad. i felt so sad.

walking down the corridor, i saw mary, ahmai gugu, praying, in tears. and ahjoo gugu said to me, "try to be strong". and i cracked again. its far to sad and emotion-packed to write out. not one is missing in the kingdom of God.

then i saw hannah, being the brave one. when i saw her eyes and face this morning, i knew. i love you hannah dearest sister.

anyway we have visitors. guess i'll continue this later, when i get things sorted out more.

(edit)

seth's heart is still beating too fast. here in the waiting room, there were people so talking at such an impolite volume. so disrespectful. back to the seth issue. if his heart continues to beat so fast(220plus beats per minute, i think) his heart might just stop. and when that happens, they'll have to do the electrical thingum, genius innit? NO. cos there's water outside his lungs. and if they do the electrical thingum, what'll happen?? i leave it up to your intelligence to figure out. i'm getting depressed sitting here. i think the people around are getting pissed off too, cos of the jonas brothers' when you look me in the eyes that keeps playing in daddy's laptop.

i don't believe seth's in such a critical condition. he;s been in ICU before, but never was he always sedated, with so many tubes and needles poking here and there. no doctor;s never said, "don't get your hopes too high" to any immediate member of my family before. and for that, on the cab ride here i was cursing the devil. you'd better believe it. i was just so angry. and then just now kat and matt came by. matt was being the joker as usual. i was caught off guard when he suddenly asked, "so how do you feel about all this?" in all seriousness. i said sad. i just couldnt elaborate more. i had to keep that big ol' grin on my face to stop the tears. i don't think i can speak about this to anyone with a straight face.

more later, maybe.

i need a shoulder. i need a hug. i need some. destress-ment.

but then again, i think my parents need it more.

God bless their souls

&the beauty.

6:39 AM

seth may very well die tonight.

tears, God, prayer, food.

my everything, the cornerstone.

make things alright.

mummy and daddy don't want us to go to school tomorrow.

i've never seen daddy cry like that, or gong gong. or po po. or ah joo gu gu. or mary.

my eyes feel swollen. i feel dehydrated.

scared, sad, tired.

my everything, the cornerstone.

make things alright.

love,e

(wish you were here)

&the beauty.

5:07 AM

Today was a happy day. But you know what? Yesterday, I needn't have stayed up till so late or should i say early completeing my e-learning cos you know why? In about every subj, at least 7 people didn't do it cos of this reason and that. And my reason could have been I hadn't had access to the computer which is the whole, complete, unbiased and AHYAH WHATEVER its the truth.

And ho-ho merry-o. There are like. 2 chinese tests to do i thought there was only one, they're due on thursday. i think i'm going to screw them up, seriously. thankgoodness we're getting more than one attempt, if not i think i'll have to settle for 15% for the first chinese test and wth chinese is my bestest subj okay.

Anyhow, this week isn't really looking so good. Tmr my darling Seth's going for the op at 9am. And Mr Chong's just set this ridiculous project work. I figured, the only time i needed 2 best friends to work together, they're petty fighting. Which means. Alot of trouble for me. Cos have i mentioned, its due TUESDAY. As in, next, thankgoodness.

And i tried this math paper today, paper 1 and i got 31/60. Someone shoot me please. To get a decent grade for math, paper 1 should have a score of like 50. At least. And i was reading through ecosystems in school(GO DIE MDM T!) and i was like. H-U-H?

I think the only thing I have to look forward to is SATURDAY! I'm meeting up with Giff, Ezra and MoRong to stuuuuudy! Really should tell them to bring science, history and math. And CHINESE!

Better get started on the history project thingum and the chinese test. Something tells me I won't be sleeping well this week.

(make things better!)

IMY.

love,e

(edit)

ahhh who knew children's day songs would be so tough? LOL, lets hope i still can celebrate.

listen for the synthesizer thing sounds. :\ thats what i'll be playing!

okay this' cool. i can't believe daddy's been to the church.

anyhow. i should be working but i cant access thing chinese typing thing.

ohwell.

love,e(ISMY)

(edit)

colorgenicsarefascinating.

You are trying to prove to others that nothing can really affect you. You are pretending to be stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure and indeed even superior to any form of weakness. As a result, more often than not, you unfortunately act with undue harshness or severity by adopting an autocratic and self-willed attitude.

Recently you have been experiencing considerable mental anguish and turmoil. You are bored and discontent. Nothing seems to be going right for you. Even your relationships aren't working out and you don't quite know which way to turn.

You give the impression that you are a self-sufficient individual, pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure. But this is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional person, one that may make hasty decisions and perhaps repent at leisure. It is time now perhaps to break the bond of detachment and become the real 'you' - the you that you would like to be.

All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.

You are presently worried about your future and you feel that whatever you do will go wrong. At this time you are your own worst enemy. All the disappointment that you have experienced, coupled with the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals, have led to anxiety. You would like recognition and a position of trust but you are concerned that these hopes and dreams may not be realised. You are very argumentative and insistent that you are right - maybe you are - but you are pushing too hard. Take it easy, let go, and smile. Smiling and agreeing with people works wonders - try it and see.
i didn't believe that certain people would go on to the moment of truth to just get everything out of their system. but you know, it doesn't seem like a terrible way, except for the fact that its on national television, that is.

i guess right now, i'm still in the process of finding, whatever that means. the word just popped into my head.

i'msickofsecrets

(please don't hate me)

love,e

&the beauty.

7:38 AM

its 2238. i've finished cheena, math, history, science. i'm left with english. ahyaaaaa. i'm super tired and there's so much to do. i still havent packed and i dont know what lessons i ahave tmr.

but on the plus side, i got to msn with sarah soo! i surprised myself, really. i can't believe the things i told her(not that i regret it) but it was just so easy to talk to her about things that even i sometimes dont want to admit to myself. i felt better after that, so i guess it wasnt a waste of time and brain cells...

argh fragments of sentences n adverbs and whatever else is killing me.

i'm still missing you.

love,e

(edit)

hm i just finished packing for tmr. and i was thinkging what my goals for term 4 should be. like. how should i live the last term of school. cos you know what? my time in q-twn isnt up yet. daddy says he thinks God has a special place for my in q-twn, but God gives us choices. my choice is definately to transfer, so i should take hold of the special place God has for me NOW. ytd night at svc during the last song, i was just sitting and thinking and being still and quiet. i know we were supposed to be like, surrendering, giving God our thoughts and relationships, but i was kinda doing smth else. like i was thinking, how on earth am i going to work my school & christian life out? as i said earlier on, i need a cornerstone to like put everything in place and even as i'm typing this now, i feel. some sense of peace and scurity. even though its 1107 at night and everyone's asleep and i have no idea what the term has in store for me. i know no where in the Bibe does it say we're supposed to feel God and stuff, but. i think its in the trust and faith i have now in God that helps me feel better, you know? God, work this whole thing out. its Yours now. i'm Yours now.

indeed, Jesus You're everything.

(:

still still missing you,

love,e

&the beauty.

5:01 AM

i don't get math. i don't get science. my holiday boot camp plans wet dwn the drain. everything a mess and scattered about. i desperately need some cornerstone to hold everything together. i'm not ready for tmr. i'm not ready for seth to go for operation.

worst of all,

i miss you.

thank goodness i'm single, this is all about me.

&the beauty.

8:08 PM

Man ytd was fantastic. Studying, laughing and talking. And eating! Very, very messily. (:

I got quite a bit of work done. I did 4 chapters of chinese in the morning, then math in the afternoon, and history at night. Then we minus G went walking ard city link mall, raffles and marina sq, then went to daddy's office to surprise my fabulous parents! Had to wait a while cos they weren't done working yet. Anyways, sang some songs, they stole some jellybeans, then daddy gave them a ride to the salvation army bus stop. I think. I just rode along. And did my work while daddy was in IDT watching KUNG FU PANDA.

Because yesterday was a great day, today shall be one too. But. e-learning is such a stupid name for what they're definition of e-learning is. Stupid q-town should call it we're-too-lazy-to-print-worksheets-for-you-so we're chucking them-online-so-you-go-print-yourself learning. In fact it isn't even really learning. I had the impression that it was questions posted online and MCQ circles were given for you to press but NOOO.

Ahyar, so annoying. The stupid q-twn website's lagging.

Oh-my-Gooooooodness.

LOL.

over and out

---------------

&the beauty.

4:29 AM

You Are Ballet

You are quite introverted. You enjoy keeping to yourself and cultivating your talents.

You are dedicated and focused. If practice makes perfect, you're willing to keep practicing.

While some people may dismiss you as boring, you can be quite edgy and interesting.

You can fit in almost anywhere... and your style ranges from conservative to funky.

What Dance Are You?

ballet. HA-HA.

You Are Equally Close to Your Friends and Family

Depending on the situation, you can feel closer to your friends or your family.

They each are valuable to you in their own ways, and you couldn't imagine living without either of them.

Your friends and family aren't ideal, but you're happy to have so many great people in your life.

At the end of the day, you're thankful for all your personal connections... flaws and all.

Are You Closer to Your Friends or Your Family?

Your Inner Pop Princess Is Hilary Duff

"I'm shedding

Shedding every color

Trying to find a pigment of truth

Beneath my skin"

You're sweet and cute, but a little more complex than that.

Who's Your Inner Pop Princess?

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISTP)

Your personality type is reserved, methodical, spirited, and intense.

Only about 6% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 8% of all men

You are Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

You are the Sense of Sight

You are a very observant, detail oriented person.

You are able to take in a lot of information at once.

You often see things that other people never notice.

You have a good eye for design and aesthetics.

You love to be surrounded by beauty - natural or not.

When you imagine how something should look, you see it clearly in your mind.

Which of the Five Senses Are You?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to relate to and understand others.

Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.

You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.

A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.

You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around

Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want

You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back

Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!

You live life to the fullest - incorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

You Are a Salty Person

When it comes to snacks, you're more likely to grab a bag of chips over a bag of cookies.

There's a good chance you're male (men prefer salty snacks)...

Or at least, you feel very comfortable in male dominated environments.

Your taste tends to be complex, sophisticated, and adult.

You tend to crave your favorite restaurant meal... or mom's cooking.

Are You Sweet or Salty?

You Are a Great Student

You aren't afraid to crack the books when you need to, and you make your education a true priority.

You could become a PhD in anything, if you set your mind to it. There's no limit to what you can learn!

Are You a Good Student?

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Fun

You are energetic, amusing, and always up for a good time.

Optimistic and genuinely happy, you help people see the sunny side of life.

And you're always up for a party... no matter how big or small.

You're usually the first one to celebrate a friend's success.

Anyone who's interesting or fun is welcome in you circle of friends.

You're not the type of person to exclude or make fun of someone who's a little different.

Your friends need you most when: They're down or depressed

You really can't be friends with: Anyone who's stuck up or chronically unhappy

Your friendship quote: "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."

What Makes You a Good Friend?

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world

So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time

You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...

But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.

Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.

Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.

Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

tonight, i feel free.

&the beauty.