you're a mystery yourself

Sunday, August 31, 2008

6:55 PM

I love WEB, from the bottom of my heart & with everything I am.

First svc at woodlands was cool. The music, the people, God. The floor was shaking. The stage was shaking. I loved dancing. Jumping off the platform was the BEST part. i'm so proud of the dancers, each and everyone of them. ♥

oh lala we look cool. to think, at the first rehearsal we had, i though roth was from NUS and that amanda was 20.

FUNNY FUNNY!

anyway. better go.

☺

&the beauty.

5:54 PM

Its really hot today. The house is packed.

And I am angry.

&the beauty.

10:24 PM

Well. Today we had our aces day dance. I don't believe 1A placed. But yup, I pretty happy BUT. I still think we could have done much better. Anyhow, well done to everyone.

I'm starting my study boot camp today. No computer/television.

Just books, sleep, food, showers and walks. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm gonna do it. Yup. I will.

TRANSFER,

TRANSFER,

TRANSFER!

And straight A1s too (:

♥eunice

I WILL SURVIVE!

&the beauty.

1:42 AM

they've brought forward the date of EOY. only now they tell us. it was supposed to start on the 26th. Now its starting on the 19th. and they keep telling us to study in the sept holidays. but they give us so much homework, its no longer a holiday. we won't even have time to study much bloody hell. i have to go to school from 8-4 on tuesday!

thats shit.

i can't believe how much my grades have deproved. my card doesnt shine anymore. this was supposed to be my term. it was supposed to SHINE and GLEAM and scream HARDWORK. i'll tell you what is screams. sloth. so what, 5 A1s don't mean anything to me. yes, its a good place to be. but its not fabulous. i had 6 A1s in term 1. i wn't be able to stomach getting worse marks for eoys. i better get 6. or better yet, straight A1s. i didn't make any tops. no even for english. not even for lit. not even for history.

this is unacceptable.

as what emmeline said just now, when mr chong was announcing the top in his subj.

"EUNICE, BUCK UPPPPP!"

i guess its time.

&the beauty.

3:33 AM

I'm tired,

I tried.

I'm running,

And out of breath.

I sink,

I've forgotten how to swim.

Everything's been such a ride. I didn't enjoy it. Here, I'll air my views openly. Since you don't respect me, I shan't respect you either.

Have you said enough about me you stupid pig? First, you say my play is boring and stupid. Well, then I guess stupidity gets the best marks in class then. What right do you think you have to critisize my work? Let me think... NONE?! Do you realize thats its only because of me and my hardwork that go you 22/23? I should have told mrs dass that you dont deserve such high marks right. thats only a mark below me and i put in so much more effort and heart into this. next is the dance. part a is gay part b is shit. oh correction, my whole dance is shit right. you know, you have absolutely no right to critisize me. you should be glad i choreographed something for you. maybe i should have just let the class slip and fail in the aces day dance whatever. you know wh? because i dont care anymore.

Next, you, you, you and you. you dare swear at me? show me your finger again. see what'll happen to you. i'll make sure that something bad comes your way. i never want to hear your voice again.

and now you. you claim to be my best friend? YA FOR ONE PATHETIC AND FRICKIN WEEK. you say you will make enemies if you have to right? guess who your newest one is.

i hate this.

mr chong says jumping off a building's a crime punishable by law, so if you jump better make sure you die.

wow, what a thought.

&the beauty.

4:42 AM

"When you join a CCA, you join for life. You do not quit a CCA, the CCA quits you!"

My goodness, First Class ytd was hilarious. But. Film & Media studies is B-O-R-I-N-G. Performance Assessment was coolios.

I don't know what I'm doing. Like right now. I'm supposed to be studying, bloody hell.

It feels like a part of me is missing.

Eee, super bad mood now. I'm tempted to just go to sleep. But my fried rice is on its way up. Quickly(hopefully). I spent like 1 and a half hours on the bus today to Seth and home from Seth EVEN THOUGH DADDY HAS THE CAR ALDY!

Daddy doesnt turn on the air con nowdays, he winds down the windows and lets the wind blow blow blow! I likeee. I can stick my head out the entire window on the way to school early in the morning. (: heeeee, that makes me very very happyyy.

Dance rehearsal after school went horribly wrong. Must have had at least half the class staying back but only about 8 was focoused enough to learn the steps I came up with last night while I was supposed to be watching Calefare. However its spelt. And then I got super pissed at Hon Wen I did something really terrible. I can't believe I did that. I must have held it there for like 10 seconds. And the most disturbing thing is I didn't give it a second thought. There's absolutely no excuse for the way I acted, but something/one else triggered it off.

I can't stand being called a chee***. For the love of sleep, that's not my name, that's not my name, that's not my name, THAT'S NOT MY NAME! (Tink Tinks, Thats Not My Name).

Sleep. Definately. After completeing my english WS and eating my fried rice which is still not here, BTW.

♥you Seth, get well soon!

&the beauty.

2:52 AM

You know, i've been reading lots of SKS books lately. there's this series which is fabulous. becoming beka. and in that book, beka's dad's getting remarried, and she isnt happy so he talks to her and says something about love that doesnt replace, but rather one that grows. i think its time my love grew.

i can't believe how clueless i've been. i can't believe how selfcentred i;ve been.

so,

grow, love, grow!

:P

&the beauty.

2:19 AM

dear seth get well soon. poor baby you, going through so much pain. love you truckloads and truckkloads. it was nice seeing you smile and hearing you laugh today.

♥

went straight from school to visit seth just now after having subway. i'm never having BBQ sauce on my sandwich ever ever again. yuck. yuck yuck yuck. anyway the reason why i havent been posting much lately is because i havent really had much time. with seth's hospitalization and school and church commitments, its been tough. but i don't regret getting involved in the anniversary dinner dance, its such a wonderful experience. i had a good day yesterday, even though rehearsals went on for 6 hours. cos i had to teach sarah and ezra the moves. the new woodlands stage is humongous. and KAIROS has its own supporters. ah well dance is theraputic. ( :

i've been thinking about serving the JDs recently. i admit, when i was asked to join, i did give the decision a fair bit of thought and that it was uncle cedric who initiated it. i used to have this really great sense of joy and all serving them preteens, but now, its all different. its like i don't feel i can do much anymore. but like hwo am i to say that right God doesnt even need me to complete His work. but its to be blessed and yes, i have been. i don't regret joining, but somehow i feel that my time there is... "up".

and EOYs! they're fast approaching. i still rmb last year while preparing for PSLE daddy told me to quit WT. ah, the good times. i dont know what to do anymore. but i know i'm going to study like there's no tmr. mummy and daddy usually spend the night at the hospital nowadays anyway so i'm free to mug. did i mention, i spent 2 weeks studying for 2 chapters of chinese and i only got 69%. and i spent 8 hours working on my history, and i only got 88%. so what, the papers are tough, BUT I AM TOUGHER. i'm supposed to be, anyway. school's getting hard to bear these days. its like, i wake up at 5.30AM to come to school only to have my time wasted by teachers and my classmates? i mean, i finished an entire 200+ page novel today and i think thats saying something. i don't think i even want to transfer out to an AG/A school. i don't think i even want to complete the school year. i mean, its like what, 6/7 hours a day? i could be doing so much more studying and learning by myself.

anyway. i better buck up. even though i hope that i'll be able to start homeschooling before the end of this year, i shoul dbe studying now. so. i think i'll go on a tv/computer fast. i mean i could be doing so much more when i'm not watching HM/WoWP/TSLoZ&C.

adios (for a long time) amigos

&the beauty.

4:22 AM

today, 3 of the most talented people got kicked out of the syf play.

:O

and national day play is on MONDAY. very high possibility, says ms khoo. and i'm playing on children's day for thr main congregation.

:O

God, look after me

&the beauty.

7:48 PM

i miss your smile and screams/screeches of joy. you look so sick and grouchy and i wanna see you smile again!

♥ you

on a lighter note being 14 ROCKS. hah, it feels goooood. smth i can't believe is GIFF FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY WHAT THE HELLLLL. hahahaha. i had sucha a fabulous weekend. i cant believe its ending! aw... anyway i'm gna look for my wallet today! i saw some at animal ytd, didnt like it very much, forgettable. i bought some dvds ytd and it figures lah my dvd player crashed and my com's being retarded. maybe i'll go over to ahma;s early to watch it there later on. dinner tonight bet it'll be yum yum!

&the beauty.

5:24 AM

its awesome being 14.

i had this really strange dream last night.

(:

bye

&the beauty.

5:30 AM

my sister's friend's almost-boyfriend's hot friend's younger brother.

today was hilarious.

i love the rubicks cube! i'm gna get m&d to get me one tmr. so tmr, school till 10, lunch with mummy and daddy, shopping, orthodontist, shopping, tuition.

things to buy tmr

-RUBICKS CUBE
-a dvd(still undecided hahaha. hairspray/hsm2. i vote hairspray.)
-books from SKS!

ah tmr's gna be a good day.

&the beauty.

12:35 AM

indeed, God is faithful even when His people aren't.

i've had many chances to think about why this week has been so wonderful thus far. and by the way, its because the same power & love lives in me. and i think that calls for a celebration, don't you? (:

i turn 14 in 3 days. today when i look back, i don't see emptiness. i see God's faithfulness and love like, all poured out, and His plan, very clearly. God's taken care of me, and even though i might not like the sticky situations i find myself in sometimes, i still know He's got my best interests at heart.

better get to work

cya(:

♥ lives in me, lives in me

&the beauty.

4:48 AM

argh. i spent 6 and a half hours yesterday studying the history of SEA and China for today's test, and i found out this morn in the parade sq that it was 15m on SEA/China and 10m on inference. WHAT THE HELL OKAY. inference sucks. i probably won't get good grades for this test, even when i spent 6 and a half hours working on it, and even though i memorised all the dates, and even though i can very well quote the textbook word for word, just because of INFERENCE. anyhow i slept late last night. like. 11. cos daddy/mummy insisted i go to sleep. all i got done was my history and portfolio cover. semester 1 was so much more easier than sem2. luckily i didn't get kicked out of the syf play today. cast a rocks (: but ms khoo has a very strong feeling that its not finalized, so yeah. its like, whatever we do in school, we just keep getting further behind. its so depressing, i dont even want to work now.

i'm turning 14 in 4 days' time. what's depressing is that in the past year, i've achieved nothing but satisfying grades. is that what life's about, really? like looking back, all i remember is emptiness.

like, really empty.

&the beauty.

5:30 AM

work that needed to be done this weekend

1. 5 shape borrowing pictures of buildings with (hopeless)
2. mindmap on ways to hold things with pictures
3. PREPARE PORTFOLIO (not printed GR)
4. JW math TB pg63 onwardQ11-15. buy graph paper in foolscap (hopeless and "cannot find")
6. complete history ws in history txtbk (cant be bothered)
7. rewrite in a repair shop script
8. cricket ws
9. complete meet the twits vocab ws
10. study math chapter 9-11 (cant be bothered)
11. study history txtbk pg 36-45
12. study chinese chapter 19&20
13. study syf characters (hopeless i'm gna get kicked out OMGOMGOMG!)

argh, super stress please. i dont feel very rested. and thats not a very good thing.

:\ i don't know what to do now. i'm like super exhausted and zit-faced and EW GROSS OKAY. i'm super pissed off now. i shouldnt have worked so hard this weekend.

dang.

&the beauty.

7:31 AM

today was super busy. i overslept till the ridiculous hour of 10.12am. bathed packed and stuff then had tuition till 12.30 then took a cab to the woodlands church. had rehearsals then took cab with viola to bpp, bought portfolio file, bussed to church bought lunch too. then wen tto brown benches to study till 6.30. went to greenridge got food then back to church to study somemore and svc with cass sophie and gina. then dance rehearsal. tzung ern joined dance! fun stuff. hehh. and now i'm tired. so byebye. i'm gna start portfolio-ing.

&the beauty.

7:40 AM

today was pretty cool. after i got home, i think i had lunch then bathed then slept till like 5. then got ready to stmargs had dinner, went to st margs, watched the concert, headed to orchard to get some late night(ok, maybe not so late?) yums. then took bus home. tmr i think i'll have to spend my whole morn and aft studying and homeworking. the i'll leave home at like. 5.45. yes i think that'll work.

anyhow. i need to get my portfolio together. and write the script for my new oddball-y group. sue li, renyu, me, ajmeer, vincent n.

the people i look forward to working with the least. i seriously doubt our play won;t have much chemistry.

i'd rather work with emmeline, simone and thomas. cos then i wouldnt have to rewrite the script and we'd have perfect chemistry.

ayyyerrr.

anyway i'm gna bathe and try to squeeze in some work i think.

haha cya(:

-edit-

workt o be done this weekend

1. 5 shape borrowing pictures of buildings with location
2. mindmap on ways to hold things with pictures
3. PREPARE PORTFOLIO
4. JW math TB pg63 onwardQ11-15
5. buy graph paper in foolscap
6. complete history ws in history txtbk
7. rewrite in a repair shop script
8. cricket ws
9. complete meet the twits vocab ws
10. study math chapter 9-11
11. study history txtbk pg 36-45
12. study chinese chapter 19&20
13. study syf characters

x.x

omg.

&the beauty.