you're a mystery yourself

Thursday, May 29, 2008

2:29 AM

we are leaving for korea in about 3 hours, and mummy and daddy still haven't packed. hohoho, i've 3 bags!

anyhow, wish me a good trip!

adios.

&the beauty.

9:28 PM

GR!

planning the sec2 outing thing's so hard.

i have tuition in 31 minutes, i haven't had lunch and the tables in a mess. eeeeeee. i feel very irritated.

&the beauty.

6:19 PM

The ship was sinking; we were drinking, singing one last song,
Casting our gold into the ocean.
You grabbed a bucket, started screaming, "Come on, come on",
Trying to slow the downward motion.
Back in the kingdom, we were kings and queens and Oh, so strong
That God himself could not contain us.
We never thought we'd be the shorter half of sword and gun.
Now god himself could never save us.

Waves of silver, waves of gold
Are coming now to take me,
To separate my body from my soul
And Jesus leaves or takes me.
Hopes of heaven, fears of hell
Tell me, what's the chance I'll make it.
All my other plans have failed,
And all this time I've faked it.

We started sinking, drinking water from the open sea
Losing our bodies to the ocean.
You grabbed my hand and started screaming, "rescue me"
Together fight the downward motion.
Back in the kingdom we were kings and queens and Oh, so strong
That god himself just had to show us.
We never thought we'd see the colder side of land and sea
But he's the only one who knows us.

Waves of silver, waves of gold
Are coming now to take me,
To separate my body from my soul
And Jesus either leaves or takes me.
Hopes of heaven, fears of hel
lTell me, what's the chance I'll make it.
All my other plans have failed,
And all this time I've faked it.

&the beauty.

4:31 AM

love this.

and for once, ellen's worth watching.

&the beauty.

1:57 AM

i haven't been here in a really long time.

my grades this term have been very mediocre. 4 A1s, 1 A2, 2 B3s, 1 B4. i suddenly am feeling very dizzy indeed. anyhow, i didn't go to school today because of some "family matters". LOL, or rather, "house matters". painting hannah's and my room. well, actually, only hannah is painting. i suck at it. today was supposed to be a busy and important day. first and foremost, pe theory test. then * and drama meeting? yeah. well, i'm actually quite glad that i didn't go to school today. tomorrow's meet the parents session is very much dreaded. but oh well, i only have to be in school for 15 minutes. and tomorrow, i have piano. i don't want to have piano tomorrow. my house is in sucha mess. and i've been so busy lately, i haven't had time to practice. and i bet my scales are. awful. ugh. i feel that i should be doing something, but i don't know what.

anyhow, i hope to transfer out. like, N O W.

oh wow. it suddenly occured to me that i would have collected my holiday hw now if i had been in school today. but for the record, i do hope there isn't any homework, so i can devote my time to holidaying, church camping, act3, dance and resting. gr, i feel very agitated now.

things to do

1. cancel piano
2. pack
3. stop playing with rasin
4. work out holiday schedule
5. wipe every single unpleasant memory in q-town out of my mind
6. bathe

eee! i feel that i'm missing something important out.

PS why i didn't order any class photos? because q-town has been nothing but a bunch of bad memories. from idiots who "don't like to joke" to freaks who follow me home, to the constant eardrum torture. everything that i want to remember is already locked away some place. i don't want to remember that last 5 months of my life

&the beauty.

4:08 AM

act 3 again ohmygoodness!
i can't wait to see miss nina and hear her yells of RMB YOUR PLACES and get inspired by everyone and have a darn fantastic performance even when rehearsals were complete rubbish.

oh yes, i'm ready.

&the beauty.

2:25 AM

its no good at all

to see yourself

and not recognize your face

out on my own

its such a scary place

the answers are all inside of me

all i gotta do

is believe

&the beauty.

5:33 AM

i've lost a part of myself.

&the beauty.

1:23 AM

today was a day of surprises. i shall not elaborate. i don't want to go to school tomorrow. at least not to queenstown. i want to be gone as suddenly as i appeared there. on the plus side, dance is starting very soon. this sunday, i cannot wait. you know why? cos dance is always fun. i don't think i want to go to web. it annoys me, kind of. i don't trust God anymore. there are many sides of my life. i don't know how to glue it together. i've tried asking God for answers, but i've had enough. i've tried to piece it together, but i don't think its happening.

mrs dass pissed me off a whole load today. anyway, i'm going to go.

&the beauty.

2:14 AM

you know something? i went to the zoo today. and i had a good time, even though it was interrupted cos ye ye had a fall and mummy and daddy had to leave. had breakfast at macs, it was delicious. mcgriddles or somthing like that, yum. (: tiong was infested with people from my school. and mummy had to ask me, "these your schoolmates right? how come they're here faster than you?" and then daddy, "eunice, why you sitting so funny?". FEI(for everyone's information), i was slanted at an angle to my family, to whom i was addressing. i just had a very shocking realization. school's starting again and its not the end of 2008 yet. as in, there is school tomorrow, till 1.40pm. and cca, on who knows when. frankly, i have forgotten. no, not so much that, its because i don't want to remember, actually. i'm having what i call a stress attack. i can't breathe properly due to the phlegm in my chest, inflicted by the stress of the thought of having to go back to school tomrrow.

i want to get bronchitis. i read that you stay on the sofa, watching tv and reading under fuzzy warm blankets and have chicken noodle soup and ginger ale all day long. sounds good to me.

i don't really look forward to getting my test papers back. i don't think i did very well. although i enjoyed examination week, its time for my "weekend" to end.

i'm going to watch bridge to terabithia. hopefully i will be more relaxed.

&the beauty.

12:42 AM

i love iced tea. today had art exam, it was sucha bore. went to bugis area, library, then home. i had quite a good day. its just that i haven't any patience with my books now. so far, i've given up on 2 books.

i'm having tuition at 4.30. i didn't want to have a session today, but whatever. i've got so many activities going on during the holidays, i'm going to be smothered. first and foremost, JOBS and mon-eh, then homework, korea, church camp, studying, hopefully, possibly worship ministry activities, piano, and what was that last part of holidays? oh, yeah, of course. HAVING FUN! but that will tie in with korea and church camp. oh yeah, my holidays are pretty evenly spread out. weekends are reserved for being a chashier at aunt georgina's store, and weekdays for mummy and daddy's office. so i think, i'll be making roughly $145 a week. how cool is that! but see, there's this horrible down side to it, because i may be fired from aunt georgina's store, cos i may turn out to be the worst employee ever. and then, byebye to my $6/hr. i'll be working on the 19th of this month, so its gna be wicked cool. 6.30am to 12.30. hehhh! awesome stuff. oh and! i can't work all the time, cos of holidays and all that, so yeah...

anyhow.

&the beauty.

4:29 AM

mhm, so today is mother's day.

woke up pretty early this morning, and then i did something, then bathed, then took a bus to church with hannah. and i think, i was really very bored, but caught myself in deep thought at some point of aunty valarie's sermon. hannah and i left early, went to the toilet, then walked to BPP to have lunch. went to the body shop, hannah bought her don't know what thing, and then we went to macs. hannah was so funny, she said she was treating me to lunch at macs, and then she doesn't eat. LOL, paying by her ezlink card. and after i finish, we go up to kopitiam, and then she eats there, paying with my kopitiam card. strange. went to the library, went to wishma, bought famous amos cookies, and came home. saw mummy and daddy along the way, they were crossing the road like king and queen. haha, so cute.

i'm never eating at macs again. its so oily and expensive and yucky. ee, and i want a new blogskin. so byebye.

&the beauty.

5:04 AM

today was a great day. i'm going to take my time posting about it, and then watch step up 1 again. :D

lit paper was pretty boring, i think i don't like mr yuen. and then went to meet daddy at tiong, and bought some ingredients for lunch, and saw thomas and co. while going to the toilet(which was being washed). came home, and then started cooking. then went to send lunch over to daddy's office, it was superly cool. and my parents have a habit of making people wait and wait and wait. it was a good like, nearly half hour later before they settled themselves at the table and ate. mummy finished one whole box of pasta, it was so cool! the sauce was good, but i think the capcicum pieces were too big.

after that, mummy and i went to paragon to meet hannah. she was supposed to have her dental at 2, but she forgot to alight, so she only came into the clinic at 2.30 to have her braces done. i can't wait to get my braces in. but dr chua says i've got to wear rasin well 1st. i don't really get what that means, and there are already 2 holes in it, but okay, hohoho. anyhow, i got bored at the clinic, it took forever, so i went over to taka to meet small ah yi. we went window shopping for cool stuff! i came up with a looong list of things i want to buy for my birthday. and here it is!

FABULOUS FOURTEEN SHOPPING SPREE (TAKA EDITION)

Grammaphone
HSM 2, $14.90
John Tucker Must Die, $14.90
Sub total: $29.80

Kinokuniya
The Squad, $11.20(x2)
Secrets of My Hollywood Life, $13
So Totally Emily Ebers, $7.80
The Sleepwalker, $16.60
Dark Sun, $3.20
Sub total: $63

Department Store
Vintage metal piggy bank, $15.90
Merry Drop pencil case, $12
Jordi Labana wallet, $15.90(?)
Jordi Labana memo book, $14.90
Pull and Bear wallet, $16.90(?)
Sub total: $59.70

Grand total: $153.50

i am so proud of myself. initially, the list was super long and about $300, but then i narrowed it down, cos i've got 9 more malls to visit. hehh, hehh. i'm sure i can get better deals on the cds that i want. i want to include...

cheaper by the dozen 1, 2
leagally blonde 1, 2
step up 1, 2
the perfect man

and some more, but not today. :D

anyhow, after shopping, mummy and hannah found us, and then we walked around some more, and then i looked at the thermoses, and i was very, very inspired to start taking my own lunch to school. hehh, hehh. anyhow. accompanied hannah for dinner, the people at the food hall of taka are superly stingy! i bought chicken rice, and then i asked for chili, and the woman black face me. WOE?! hannah wanted light sauce, so i went to the fishball noodle shop to get some, then the aunty was like, "if you didn't buy anything from me, then you can't take my sauce."

?!?!?!

walau lah, next time boycott them. anyhow, took the bus home and here i am. i just spent $4.90 on a ridiculous HSM mag. its quite stupid. haha. need to pay mummy back.

my holiday plans are going very very very well. regular trips to the library, movies and WORK! i can't wait to get some MON-EH! but then. one weel after church camp, the whole family is going to BANGKOK. WOE, i know! top 6 reasons why we should not go there.

1. its badly polluted
2. its crowded
3. its dirty
4. there are all sorts of people whom i do not want to meet there
5. its an uncivilized area, enough said
6. its hot

i hereby conclude that bangkok is not a place for holidays. but guess what? its already been booked and paid for and i'm superly pissed off. i won't even get to go horseback riding. i'll be elephant riding. omg, lame! and its gonna be so congested! i hate congested areas, i get claustraphobia. and then i have this freakish vision of me holding my mother's hand, and then after walking ten steps or so, i realise that the hand i'm grabbing is not my mother's but some transversite's and then my life is over even before i can have my fabulous fourteen shopping spree. right now, i would rather go to phuket and be killed by a tsunami. or the other choices daddy brought up, like HAWAII and AUSTRALIA. but you know what bugs me the most? the fact that it wasn;t even discussed, and the tickets and everything were just booked without asking and so i'm forced to go on a horrible holiday, and i'll not have my fabulous fourteen shopping spree, cos i'll be holding a frickin transversite's hand!!

ah, i'll discuss it with them later on. right now i'm goingt to enjoy step up 1.

bye.

&the beauty.

3:28 AM

right, alright.

i found the most perfect thing to wear on sat for ah ma's dinner, and you go, "are you going for a job interview?". and then i join you for your youtube vid cos my show was 'taking a break', and you go, "if you're watching this, switch the tv off." and when i don't budge, you hit pause. i'm on amazon.com and i make a list of books i want to get and read, and you go "copy cat."

you're not the only on who can look good, why can't you just let me watch behind you, its not like i'm making noise, and i can go on to amazon.com whenever i like and make lists.

i'm kind of like your sister, so i don't really appreciate your behaviour.

&the beauty.

11:50 PM

Books

(1) High School 101: Freshman Survival Guide
(2) High School: The Real Deal
(3) 97 Things To Do Before You Finish High School
(4)Chalked Up: Inside Elite Gymnastics' Merciless Coaching, Overzealous Parents, Eating Disorders and Elusive Olympic Dreams
(5) Little Girls In Pretty Boxes: The Making and Breaking of Elite Gymnasts and Figure Skaters

&the beauty.

10:43 PM

school today was enjoyable. geog paper was really fun, but i missed 6 marks for nothing. i forgot to turn the page so i lost 4m, and another 2m because i gave compass bearing when they asked for direction. GR ZO ZOOOOPID.

so. i'm going to watch sizzle with curtis stone and then csi and csi. HAHA! funfun, i can't wait. i'm on amazon.com now, looking for books.

okay, bye.

&the beauty.

10:05 PM

alex rover's coolio! nim's island is the bestest, i love the volcano there. and the water, its so BLUE! speaking of blue, we're going to AUSTRALIA(maybe) in JUNE! and hopefully in the 3rd week, cos then drama camp is definately out of the qsn. ha-ha-ha. i wish i could go, but nah, i would rather go horseback riding in australia than sleep in the same room as "girls with single digit IQs". take note, thats a quote from the drama guy junde. but having said that, i still cannot wait for act 3's vacation programs! maybe there'll be another production that darrshan can be nearly kick off from. hmhm, i cannot wait.

today was sweet and sour, chinese was harder that i expected. way harder. but f n n was fun! i liked it, it was easy. and tomorrow, there's geog! i guess it'll be enjoyable? hohoho, 3 essays. and the next day, lit. and then, saturday, library and WEB. and then, sunday, gdop. i don't want to go. because (a), i don't like crowds, (b) i don't want to spend my time reciting scripted prayers and (c) its going to be smothering, no?

BTW, i love this.

&the beauty.

10:35 PM

exams are cool, i love the sense of freedom it gives me. school ended at 11.30am after math paper 2. math today wasn't all that bad. english yesterday was not so good, cos the instructions given weren't clear. they ask for complete sentences, but they start the sentence for us. hah, strange. science was alright too, especially the chem bits! hehh, tmr is chinese and f n n, i can't wait. then the next day will be goegraphy. and then lit, and then FREEDOM! well, not technically. there's still art and CL list comp.

anyhow, i'm watching nim's island this everning.

&the beauty.

6:45 PM

You Are a Kinetic Learner

You learn best by doing, and you have a talent for complicated, physical tasks.

You excel at athletics, drama, and fixing things.

You would be an excellent Olympic athlete - or a Broadway star!

What's Your Learning Style?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.

You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.

Also nostalgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

You Make a Great First Impression

You can handle almost any social situation with grace, even the tricky ones.

Strangers often find you charming and interesting. You are often remembered fondly.

Even if you're not naturally outgoing, you can make conversation with anyone if you need to.

Whether you were born this way or had to work to get here, you are definitely charismatic.

You're popular and well liked. People definitely look forward to being around you.

Your social connections bring you a full and rich life. You understand how important it is to make a lasting impression.

What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?

People Envy Your Confidence

You have the attitude and self esteem to take on anything. Failure is beyond not an option for you - it doesn't even cross your mind.

People envy your ability to take on any challenge ... and they're secretly afraid you think you're better than them. You don't. You're just sure of yourself.

What Do People Envy About You?

&the beauty.

1:49 AM

i'm tired, so tired i want to fall off the chair. its so hot, i have a very bad headache. i want to rot in front of the tv, i don't want to stare at my geog book till i memorise the facts and blooooody hell, mavis is probably gna beat me for science. she's already memorised everything, while i'm still stuck in ignorance, not know what in the bloooody name of santa's raindeer condensers are for.

meanwhile, i'm still speaking like a freak(i like how its spelt, it brings my fingers all over the keyborad in an arc, hehh hehh, freak!), and i still cannot eat properly and i still don't get CHEM BLOOODY HELL and something else thats bugging me, i just can't remember. mr aslam gave us a math paper to do last fri, and paper 2 is so mind boggling. i was gripping my pencil and bitting rasin going SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! everytime i couldn't do a sum, which was practically the whole paper. ew, i feel like puking. i don't think my term2 results will be satisfactory. i might as well be content with b4s and qtss till i'm 17. dammit, effing forests and what nots beckon.

i want to eat good food and sleep for a very long time. after that, i want to spend a whole lot of money on things i don't really need. and after that, i'll eat good food again.

&the beauty.